*Care of Souls: Nurturing, Supporting, Healing, and Restoration in the Church by Dr. David G. Benner. Dr. David and his wife, Juliet Benner are residents of Vancouver Island in Canada. David is an internationally known clinical psychologist and author of more than 20 books on psychology and spirituality. He was a Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Spirituality at Psychological Studies Institute (Atlanta, USA). He was also the Distinguished Author in Residence at Carey Theological College, University of British Columbia (Vancouver, Canada), and serves as a consultant in spirituality and health to a number of organizations around the world. Juliet is a spiritual director with a special interest in the use of religious art as a resource in Christian contemplation and spiritual formation. She is a consultant in art and spirituality for the Carey Centre at University of British Columbia (Vancouver, Canada). Dr. and Mrs. Benner’s lecturing and consulting works have taken them to South Africa, Singapore, Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, Denmark, Norway, Malaysia, Indonesia, and the Philippines. When they are not working they enjoy jazz and choral music, hiking, sailing, cooking, and conversation with people about their journey. I had the privilege of attending retreats with Dr. David and Juliet Benner as Retreat Directors.
A Reflection on Arthur Miller’s “Death of A Salesman”
Tragic, but I think Willy had “killed himself” long before he drove himself to death. He deadened himself from that unhealthy fear of defeat by trying to do what he thought was right. And when he could no longer do it right, his only option was [physical] death than face the terrifying reality that he was no longer in control, that he could no longer give orders for Biff to obey. He failed to see that he had a loving, supportive family and close friends to stand by him during difficult periods. What is more disappointing than someone who stubbornly refused to receive help and had given up hope! How heartbreaking.
What do I feel moved to do? If Biff is a friend, and with his father’s “purpose for living” had ceased, I wished to him that he could talk to a trusted someone or a counselor or a spiritual mentor, who could gradually help him deal with his struggles. There are no guarantees that confronting life issues will not be painful. His father’s death may still haunt him for life. And grief may catch him unaware. And when he’s caught, he may seem unable to make sense of what was and what is yet to be. But in time, a small light shall flicker. And as the light emerges, I pray that Biff will begin to understand.
It was greeted with enthusiastic reviews, received the Pulitzer Prize for Drama in 1949, the 1949 Tony Award for Best Play, as well as the New York Drama Critics’ Circle Award for Best Play. Death of a Salesman was the first play to win these three major awards, helping to establish Miller as an internationally known playwright.”- Wikipedia
Straight from the Heart
by Kitt M.
Straight from the Heart
by Kitt M.
It was not easy for me at first especially after one physical condition to another. (I felt so cared for by my husband.) But later I realized womanhood is more than bearing or having children. It’s in the heart. If I believe in my heart that I am less of a woman, less desirable, I would still feel that way with or without a child. If we (women) keep seeking from men to give us meaning, we will only be disappointed (Marianne Williamson, “A Woman’s Worth”). We forget that men are as wounded as we are. We need to realize that they cannot give meaning to our lives, that they cannot take away the loneliness in our hearts. There’s only one we can count on and that is God. We can only find our worth in the living God whose great love for us never ceases. We are loved!
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. – Jeremiah 31:3 NIV
“Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby.
Fill the air with song, you who never experienced childbirth!
You’re ending up with far more children
than all those childbearing women.” God says so!
– Isaiah 54:1 The Message
Synopsis of the song, “Moving On”
Lyrics & Music: Kitt Macayayong-Molina
If I can see what I want to be
If I could be what I wanted to see
If I can look through the face of tomorrow
Would I feel safe to leave the past behind?
If I can right a wrong with my might
With my might a wrong could be justified
If I can look away from the face of sorrow
Would I feel safe to leave the hurts behind?
Life is a struggle
And seems easy if we just keep moving on
Life is what we make it
If we can’t pull through let’s not fake it
And just move on, just moving on.
Kung ang isip di mapanatag
(If your mind is bothered)
Di rin makamtan ang kapayapaan
(and peace seems elusive)
Hinahabol-habol ang kinabukasan
(So you run after the days)
Ligalig at patungo kung saan.
(yet lose yourself in the chase.)
Kung manahimik kahit sansaglit
(Hush and be still for a moment)
Makinig nang di mawaglit
(Listen so as not to forget)
Sa bulong nang gabi na umaawit
(The evening blows to whisper)
Umaga’y di dapat habulin ng pilit.
(singing, “Wait ’til the night is over.”)
Kay hirap nang buhay
(Life is a struggle)
Tila pagpapagal na walang katapusan
(and it just keeps on going on)
Hirap man ating kamtan
(Life is what we make it)
Kahit ano pa man ang dumatal
(if hardships come let us face it)
Harapin mo, huwag susuko.
(and not give up, let’s not give up.)
If I can wait to see what I want to be
If I could be what I’ve waited to see
If I can look through the face of sorrow
And for each tomorrow
I’d face my fears to move on with life.
Moving on, moving on
Life is a struggle, it’s not easy moving on.
Hirap ma’y laging kamtan sa ating paglalakbay
Sa araw at gabi may Diyos na patnubay!
An all original by Kitt Macayayong Molina
© 2007 Kitt Macayayong-Molina. All Rights Reserved.
Someone wrote why I am still in grief. In other words, I should be over by now. It’s now five months since mama passed away. So, I should be done with grief? But many people find that grieving over the death of a parent takes longer than expected. Grief Counselors say grief should not be hurried. It takes time to grieve the loss of a loved one. It is to let grief work on us and not rushing to get over it. Grieving over my Mama’s death was quite complicated because she died “a series of small deaths” from the time she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. I am still missing mama.. watching her last videos, my last moment with her make me cry. I am angry at the awfulness of Alzheimer’s disease, at how much of Mama’s memories were taken away. ( Interestingly, I can both grieve and be happy, or funny and angry. Strange, how two emotions can be both in one moment.) And the grace of enjoying taking care of Mama, and a sacred moment of her touching my face… kissing me and saying, “Thank you.” or “I love you, of course.” And knowing it will never happen again. They’re all part of the tension I must struggle to live with presently or for now. I use photos (or write songs) as my sanctuary or “the womb in which I am cradled in my grief.” I shall deal with grief the way it wants to. I know this too shall pass.
A Poem on Alzheimer
Do not ask me to remember.
Don’t try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you’re with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I’m confused beyond your concept. I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you to be with me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can’t help the way I’m acting,
Can’t be different ‘though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone.
Please don’t fail to stand beside me,
Love me ’till my life is done.